Divorce is one of the most pathetic and destructive events that can happen in a person’s life.
A divorce or separation is as hard to deal with. We must deal with the realization that life will no longer be the same. We are left to deal with the roller coaster of emotions that come with the divorce. These emotions will impact each person in different ways, in a different order, and on different levels. How long we deal with each emotion depends on what part we played in the divorce or how we internalize the “story” that we keep telling ourselves.
I have found in my years of practice that while each person is dealing with their emotions, they lose sight of the end result, which is the pain and hurt that they cause on their children. It is important to be cognizant of what we are feeling and why we are feeling it. Being able to understand our emotions while this is happening, will help us get a grip on our thoughts and regain control of our emotions minimizing the impact on our children. If we recognize what we are feeling in the moment, and we change our physiology, focus on our language, we can control “our story” and safeguard our children in the process.
How you can overcome?
Don’t fight your feelings – It’s normal to have lots of ups and downs, and feel many conflicting emotions, including anger, resentment, sadness, relief, fear, and confusion. It’s important to identify and acknowledge these feelings. While these emotions will often be painful, trying to suppress or ignore them will only prolong the grieving process.
Talk about how you’re feeling – Even if it is difficult for you to talk about your feelings with other people, it is very important to find a way to do so when you are grieving. Knowing that others are aware of your feelings will make you feel less alone with your pain and will help you heal. Writing in a journal can also be a helpful outlet for your feelings.
Remember that moving on is the end goal – Expressing your feelings will liberate you in a way, but it is important not to dwell on the negative feelings or to over-analyze the situation. Getting stuck in hurtful feelings like blame, anger, and resentment will rob you of valuable energy and prevent you from healing and moving forward.
Remind yourself that you still have a future – When you commit to another person, you create many hopes and dreams for a life together. After a breakup, it’s hard to let these aspirations go. As you grieve the loss of the future you once envisioned, be encouraged by the fact that new hopes and dreams will eventually replace your old ones.
Know the difference between a normal reaction to a breakup and depression – Grief can be paralyzing after a breakup, but after a while, the sadness begins to lift. Day by day, and little by little, you start moving on. However, if you don’t feel any forward momentum, you may be suffering from depression.
A divorced person can overcome very quickly with medical help. According to medical science there are some chemicals called DOPAMINE, SEROTONIN, who are responsible for the emotional activity. So there is a non-pharmacological way to improve these chemical’s balance.
- Physical Exercise
- Mental Exercise
- 30 min regular moderating running
- 15 minutes breathing exercise
- All body muscle engaging exercises
Physical Exercises can be categorized into two different segments:
The physical Hardcore workout can boost up the secretion of Dopamine and can help to control the emotions, anger & all other mental imbalances.
Exercise is not just about aerobic capacity and muscle size. Sure, exercise can improve your physical health and your physique, trim your waistline, improve your sex life, and even add years to your life. But that’s not what motivates most people to stay active.
People who exercise regularly tend to do so because it gives them an enormous sense of well-being. They feel more energetic throughout the day, sleep better at night, have sharper memories, and feel more relaxed and positive about themselves and their lives. And it’s also powerful medicine for many common mental health challenges.
Exercise and depression
Studies show that exercise can treat mild to moderate depression as effectively as antidepressant medication—but without the side-effects, of course. In addition to relieving depression symptoms, research also shows that maintaining an exercise schedule can prevent you from relapsing.
Exercise is a powerful depression fighter for several reasons. Most importantly, it promotes all kinds of changes in the brain, including neural growth, reduced inflammation, and new activity patterns that promote feelings of calm and well-being. It also releases endorphins, powerful chemicals in your brain that energize your spirits and make you feel good. Finally, exercise can also serve as a distraction, allowing you to find some quiet time to break out of the cycle of negative thoughts that feed depression.
Exercise and anxiety
Exercise is a natural and effective anti-anxiety treatment. It relieves tension and stress, boosts physical and mental energy, and enhances well-being through the release of endorphins. Anything that gets you moving can help, but you’ll get a bigger benefit if you pay attention instead of zoning out.
Try to notice the sensation of your feet hitting the ground, for example, or the rhythm of your breathing, or the feeling of the wind on your skin. By adding this mindfulness element—really focusing on your body and how it feels as you exercise—you’ll not only improve your physical condition faster, but you may also be able to interrupt the flow of constant worries running through your head.
Exercise and stress
Ever noticed how your body feels when you’re under stress? Your muscles may be tense, especially in your face, neck, and shoulders, leaving you with back or neck pain, or painful headaches. You may feel a tightness in your chest, a pounding pulse, or muscle cramps. You may also experience problems such as insomnia, heartburn, stomachache, diarrhea, or frequent urination. The worry and discomfort of all these physical symptoms can, in turn, lead to even more stress, creating a vicious cycle between your mind and body.
Exercising is an effective way to break this cycle. As well as releasing endorphins in the brain, physical activity helps to relax the muscles and relieve tension in the body. Since the body and mind are so closely linked, when your body feels better so, too, will your mind.
Exercise and ADHD
Exercising regularly is one of the easiest and most effective ways to reduce the symptoms of ADHD and improve concentration, motivation, memory, and mood. Physical activity immediately boosts the brain’s dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin levels—all of which affect focus and attention. In this way, exercise works in much the same way as ADHD medications such as Ritalin and Adderall.
Exercise and PTSD and trauma
Evidence suggests that by really focusing on your body and how it feels as you exercise, you can actually help your nervous system become “unstuck” and begin to move out of the immobilization stress response that characterizes PTSD or trauma. Instead of thinking about other things, pay close attention to the physical sensations in your joints and muscles, even your insides as your body moves. Exercises that involve cross movement and that engage both arms and legs—such as walking (especially in sand), running, swimming, weight training, or dancing—are some of your best choices.
Outdoor activities like hiking, sailing, mountain biking, rock climbing, whitewater rafting, and skiing (downhill and cross-country) have also been shown to reduce the symptoms of PTSD.
How does exercise help depression and anxiety?
Regular exercise may help ease depression and anxiety by:
- Releasing feel-good endorphins, natural cannabis-like brain chemicals (endogenous cannabinoids) and other natural brain chemicals that can enhance your sense of well-being
- Taking your mind off worries so you can get away from the cycle of negative thoughts that feed depression and anxiety
Regular exercise has many psychological and emotional benefits, too. It can help you:
- Gain confidence. Meeting exercise goals or challenges, even small ones, can boost your self-confidence. Getting in shape can also make you feel better about your appearance.
- Get more social interaction. Exercise and physical activity may give you the chance to meet or socialize with others. Just exchanging a friendly smile or greeting as you walk around your neighborhood can help your mood.
- Cope in a healthy way. Doing something positive to manage depression or anxiety is a healthy coping strategy. Trying to feel better by drinking alcohol, dwelling on how you feel, or hoping depression or anxiety will go away on its own can lead to worsening symptoms.
Is a structured exercise program the only option?
Some research shows that physical activity such as regular walking — not just formal exercise programs — may help improve mood. Physical activity and exercise are not the same things, but both are beneficial to your health.
- Physical activity is any activity that works your muscles and requires energy and can include work or household or leisure activities.
- Exercise is a planned, structured and repetitive body movement done to improve or maintain physical fitness.
The word “exercise” may make you think of running laps around the gym. But exercise includes a wide range of activities that boost your activity level to help you feel better.
Certainly running, lifting weights, playing basketball and other fitness activities that get your heart pumping can help. But so can physical activity such as gardening, washing your car, walking around the block or engaging in other less intense activities. Any physical activity that gets you off the couch and moving can help improve your mood.
You don’t have to do all your exercise or other physical activity at once. Broaden how you think of exercise and find ways to add small amounts of physical activity throughout your day. For example, take the stairs instead of the elevator. Park a little farther away from work to fit in a short walk. Or, if you live close to your job, consider biking to work.
Doing Yoga regularly can reduce the stress level especially in case of divorce. Mental stress after divorce become so high that only medication can not control it. There are some suggested yoga exercises to practice regularly.
|Style of yoga||Description|
|Hatha||incorporates gentler and slower paced movements, best suited for beginners|
|Vinyasa||links breathing and movement together, pacing starts slow and gradually get faster|
|Bikram||takes place in a hot room where you practice a set series of moves to help blood flow|
|Ashtanga||focuses on quick, sequenced poses and is more physically demanding|
|Hot||is in a heated room but without set poses|
|Iyengar||uses props, such as blocks, chairs, and straps, to help you find proper body alignment|
|Kundalini||combines repetitive exercises with intense breathing for a more physically demanding exercise|
|Restorative||moves slowly through five or six poses for an hour to help you relax|
|Yin||aims to restore length and elasticity to your muscles through seated and back poses|
Yoga can boost up the secretion of your dopamine and serotonin in the brain and this can help you to stay happy. These two chemicals are important for the happiness of human being. Imbalance of these two chemicals can make you depressed, stressed & emotionally broken. It’s scientifically proven that yoga can improve these chemical balance.
Meditation is the most common way to improve mental imbalances like a breakup, divorce, destruction, ADHD etc. There are several methods of meditation but only some of them are the most beneficial and effective. You can join here to improve your condition. They are one of the most professionals who actually know the meaning of meditation.
A person who is suffering from depression due to sudden divorce can be cured within a concise time with the help of psychotherapy. Let’s see how a person suffering from depression can come back into normal life. We must remember there are several psychotherapy techniques but the most common one is CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy.
What is Psychotherapy?
Psychotherapy is the use of psychological methods to help a person change his behavior and overcome problems in desired ways. Psychotherapy can improve an individual’s well-being and mental health. A person can be depressed in many circumstances. Divorce is the burning issue among them. Specific psychotherapies are considered evidence-based for treating some diagnosed mental disorders.
Psychotherapy Techniques, Tools & Exercises
There are over a thousand different psychotherapy techniques. Some were minor variations, while others are based on very different conceptions of psychology, ethics (how to live), or techniques. Psychotherapists are the mental health professionals such as psychiatrists, psychologists, clinical social workers, marriage and family therapists. Psychotherapists may also come from a variety of other backgrounds, and depending on the jurisdiction may be legally regulated, voluntarily regulated or unregulated.
In general, there are two techniques of counseling a patient. One of them is one-to-one and another one was group/family/other persons who have an influence on patients life.
This approach focuses on changing problematic behaviors, feelings, and thoughts by discovering their unconscious meanings and motivations. Psychoanalytically oriented therapies are characterized by a close working partnership between therapist and patient. Patients learn about themselves by exploring their interactions in the therapeutic relationship. While psychoanalysis is closely identified with Sigmund Freud, it has been extended and modified since his early formulations.
- Behavior therapy. This approach focuses on learning’s role in developing both normal and abnormal behaviors.
- Ivan Pavlov made important contributions to behavior therapy by discovering classical conditioning, or associative learning. Pavlov’s famous dogs, for example, began drooling when they heard their dinner bell because they associated the sound with food.
- “Desensitizing” is classical conditioning in action: A therapist might help a client with a phobia through repeated exposure to whatever it is that causes anxiety.
- Another important thinker was E.L. Thorndike, who discovered operant conditioning. This type of learning relies on rewards and punishments to shape people’s behavior.
- Several variations have developed since behavior therapy’s emergence in the 1950s. One variation is cognitive-behavioral therapy, which focuses on both thoughts and behaviors.
- Cognitive therapy. Cognitive therapy emphasizes what people think rather than what they do.
- Cognitive therapists believe that it’s dysfunctional thinking that leads to dysfunctional emotions or behaviors. By changing their thoughts, people can change how they feel and what they do.
- Major figures in cognitive therapy include Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck.
- Humanistic therapy. This approach emphasizes people’s capacity to make rational choices and develop to their maximum potential. Concern and respect for others are also important themes.
- Humanistic philosophers like Jean-Paul Sartre, Martin Buber, and Søren Kierkegaard influenced this type of therapy.
- Three types of humanistic therapy are especially influential. Client-centered therapy rejects the idea of therapists as authorities on their clients’ inner experiences. Instead, therapists help clients change by emphasizing their concern, care, and interest.
- Gestalt therapy emphasizes what it calls “organismic holism,” the importance of being aware of the here and now and accepting responsibility for yourself.
- Existential therapy focuses on free will, self-determination and the search for meaning.
- Integrative or holistic therapy. Many therapists don’t tie themselves to any one approach. Instead, they blend elements from different approaches and tailor their treatment according to each client’s needs.
How to Use Psychotherapy to Overcome Divorce Depression
Marriage is the most enthusiastic moment of a human’s life. Does not matter male/female both of them stays so excited from their childhood about marriage. So that when divorce comes in front of this happy face we just are clueless. Thousands of memories, dreams & wishes circulate us like a wheel. we think we have lost everything that we had. Our mind does not want to accept defeat.
If you think in pharmacological view then depression is nothing but a reduction of neurotransmitter secretion. There are dopamine & serotonin neurotransmitter in our brain. When the secretion of these neurotransmitters reduces we feel sorrow. With the help of many drugs, this type of problems can be solved.
Psychotherapy along with medication is the best way to treat divorce depression. Applicable psychotherapy in this situation is cognitive behavioral therapies or CBT.
Cognitive behavioral therapy is an umbrella term that encompasses many therapeutic approaches, techniques, and systems.
Other Additional Treatments To getting Rid of Divorce Depression
In some cases, changing your habits makes a difference. For instance, exercise is one of the treatments for mild depression. In some cases, treatment may also include creative therapies (such as art therapy, music therapy, or play therapy), mindfulness and meditation, and brain stimulation therapies, such as:
Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT)
You’re “asleep” under general anesthesia while doctors put electrodes on specific points on your head to stimulate your brain. It’s usually used for major depression, but doctors may consider it for other conditions, especially in severe cases. Most people get it several times a week for a few weeks, and usually only if other treatments haven’t worked.
Vagus nerve stimulation
In which doctors implant a device that stimulates the vagus nerve, which relays messages to areas in the brain that are thought to affect mood and thinking. It’s approved to treat severe cases of depression that don’t respond to two or more antidepressant treatments.
Transcranial magnetic stimulation
Which uses magnets (outside the body) to stimulate the brain. It’s approved to treat major depression if other treatments haven’t worked. The research on how well it works is mixed.
Some people may need day treatment or hospitalization, at least for a time, for more severe conditions.
Psychotherapy along with medication is the most suitable, quick & developed way of treatment for people suffering from divorce depression.