Those couples are not perfect who doesn’t run into a few bumps in the road. There few problems that must come in the relationship. If those problems do not come that means there is something missing in your relationship. Probably the main thing “love” is missing. Love can be expressed through many problems/arguments also. Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going. Tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error. Today we will discuss about those major relationship problems that are going to occur or occurring in your married life/committed relationship. We will also discuss about the couple therapy to solve those issues.
Have you ever heard that a wife trust her husband undoubtedly? No? I did. And do you know what is the present situation of that couple? They divorced and its about 5 years from today. So put it in your mind that your wife not gonna trust you ever. Does not matter how honest you are? How gentleman you are? How much you carry personality? Or how much religious minded you are? Your wife will doubt on you and either she will express it or not. But the most important part is that this “non-trust” syndrome will not improve with time. You have to fight with this issue till a certain time.
How to manage? Do these things—
- Do not argue with your wife about it. If she wants to scream then let her. Do not scream at her. Be quiet.
- Try to come home quickly.
- Try not to involve in works when you are at home.
- Let your wife access your stuff (like PC, Mobile, Devices) without any single objection.
- Most important ** Do not look to any other women when (Especially) you are with your wife**
2. Communication Gap:
Civilization is racing in such a manner that people do not have time for own. Every person is busy with his/her works and carrier. Our life became the most boring element of this planet. After a long tired week, no one has the energy to do anything in weekends but sleeping. A married couple where both of them are working gets hardly 4 hours to spend together. In the meantime, it is not possible for anyone maintaining a frequent communication about the life. To reduce this husbands and wives are trying to make their desires low and increasing the number of sacrifices. Sacrifices about anything can be tolerated for a long time but about the food of mind & heart cannot be tolerated for a long time. Attachments/Love/Romance/Quality times are the food of couples mind & heart which are being lost into the fog of our daily works. A long-term relationship can not sustain without proper communication. The rate of divorce in Europe, Australia, America, Africa & even in Asia has risen in such a rate that younger community is losing their faith from the term “Marriage” completely.
How to furnish the Communication Gap? Do this—-
- Text Your spouse/ Call your spouse at the time of lunch.
- If possible drop your spouse at the office in the morning & come back home together.
- No matter what happened never do dinner separately.
- Try to remember important days & events of your spouse. Better if you can make him/her reminded often.
- No matter into what are your working life is going through, leave your professional life at the door of the office.
3. Overload of Responsibilities
Civilization is not only making us busy but also increasing our responsibilities. We have responsibilities to own as well as to our relatives. We also have responsibilities about our works and nowadays a load of working responsibilities is so high that we can not make an adjustment of others. Overload of responsibilities is one of the major causes of relationship problems like communication gap. Couple therapy vanishes in the fog of responsibilities. But a perfect man never keeps his responsibilities imbalanced. Do belief or not the term “perfect man” goes those responsible persons who maintain a balance of responsibilities.
How to maintain balance? Just follow —
- You can make separate time schedule to maintain the balance. see details here.
- You mix your works with your family life but its hard to maintain for most of the people. Though some can.
- Try to understand the need of your family or expectations of your family from you.
- Never try to give an excuse to yourself.
- Utilize every second of your life to make others happy. If you can’t then sorry you are not perfect.
4. Economical Comfort
Money is the key to all comfort and happiness. A great leader had said, ” if you can not value your time then your time not gonna value you”. He was especially talking about investing times to earn money. A well established financial backbone can give you every single thing that you want from your life. But have you ever noticed that “This money is the main problem of your life’? If today your wife wants to make a vacation in Paris or in Switzerland then can you avoid it? Never, cause she knows you have the ability to bear. If you did not have money that much then she may not want these things. You can not go because you need to do works to earn money. Ultimately for whom you are earning? For your child? Do your child get your time enough? On the other hand, if you don’t have money you can not afford the wishes of your spouse. A middle-class Indian girl may have a little wish to fly in the airplane but if you can not bear the cost then you are a loser. You could not fulfill a little wish of your beloved one. So, economical comfort is important for sure but a certain balance should be made. Your solution is lying within your desire.
5. Priority Issues:
There is nothing called “busy” in this world. Everything is about priority. You are saying your girlfriend that you are busy. Nope, you are lying. You are not busy. You are just giving your work more priority than your love. That’s it. Priority is not only the issue related to busyness. Priority is the main headache of every relationship. Your spouse is not talking to you because you had dinner with someone else. Why she is angry? Because you just a moment ago gave priority to someone else than your love. Your girlfriend is angry with you because you were with your “useless” friends. Why? Because you put your useless friends in a priority position.
How to handle this “priority Issue”? Do this–
- Do not go anywhere or do not make an adjustment with your spouse’s schedule.
- Try to understand your spouse’s nature. If your spouse does not have any “EGO” issue then you are clear.
- Try to put your spouse on your priority list. At least show if you can not put.
- When you have time give the full amount to your spouse.
- Show him/her that he/she is your principle.
6. Temper Management:
You can also call it anger management. Now, let’s think when we get angry? Got it? Yes, When Your spouse is not doing that what you prefer. It’s a very natural human being attitude of getting angry at this time but you know “Anger is the Destroyer”. So if you can handle your anger in that particular moment then you can take the full control of the situation by almost doing nothing.
What to do? —
- Try to understand what is the key matter of the situation
- Avoid any influence of losing temper by your mate
- Try to find out the necessity of that issue or the importance of that issue
- If you find any reason to sacrifice your preference then do it.
7. Social Media:
Addiction on social media is another reason for relationship problems and probably the most one. Social media is not only making us smart but also taking our attention to the better one. Let’s consider one story. You have an apple and you are eating it. At the same time, you are using social media. Suddenly you saw a pineapple product which looks delicious. Your mind is looking for options to get that pineapple product automatically. Why? Because it’s better than you apple. The same thing is happening in your life. Your value to your mate is decreasing because your mate knows several other persons who have more potential than you. Admit it or not we all look for better. We want to have the better one. Let’s consider another perspective. Addiction to social media leads us to various dramatically provoked issues. That issues which have no relationship with the reality. Our access into our real world is decreasing day by day. We are being more dependent on tools. Are meeting a few numbers of people a day and probably we are not meeting any new individual in a whole year. Our entertainment is watching movies, serials & gossiping. We are picking the most social problems from our entertainment sources and making our mind full of those shits. So moreover we are losing our positivity and gaining our negativity. This is the factor influencing most of our spouses and they are being more protective, anxious and sensitive about the relationship. Secret couple therapy is avoiding the negative issues of social media.
8.”In Law” Issues :
What is “In Law” Issues? Regarding Mother-in-law; Father-in-law bla bla bla.
You are so much sense about the matters of your own family but are you the same in case of your spouse’s family? Are you treating your “in-laws” as you do treat your family? If no then you are not a perfect person.
9. Domestic conflict:
The argument on a specific matter in married life is a very normal thing. But if you take it in upper level then it’s the problem. Domestic violence is strongly prohibited in most of the countries. In the third world countries, the victims of domestic violence are women. But men can be the victim too. Recently the amount of domestic violence decreased because of awareness among general people and law enforcement authorities. Domestic conflicts when turns into domestic violence always if you can not control it on the intro.
10. Pregnancy Time:
Relationship problems during pregnancy time is a very common thing. It’s more focused on medical theory rather than psychological. Women get usually hormonal imbalance when they are pregnant. Having lack of faith in husband & trusting on hallucinations are the most common symptoms. How to handle?
- Prefer your wife’s wish
- Try to avoid confusing acts during this time
- Give times to your wife more than anything
- Keep her under the consultation of a psychologist. Better use the online psychologist.
These are the most common problems & issues regarding the relationship. If you need more advice or have any question feel free to contact us. Love your mate and stay happy.