There are some common stages of a breakup that more or less everybody has to go through. You can not avoid going through these stages if you were loyal about the relationship, and, did not ever thought this could happen. Be it you are a man or a woman, at the end of the day, you are a human being and human has some common natural instincts that you also carry. And after a breakup, those common behaviors come out with emotions. I am not saying that this is gender independent because both males and females have their own way of behavior and different ways to express themselves. But there are some common stages that every person has to go through after a breakup. In this article, we will talk about those common stages.
Stages of a breakup for guys and breakup stages for girls are different. But there are some common stages also. If you want to know more in-depth about gender-specific behavior and breakup stages that men and women have to go through after a breakup, keep reading this article. We will divide this post into two part separately for men and women. But at first, let’s figure out the common stages of a breakup for both guys and girls.
So, as we were saying, there are some common behaviors, let me shortlist them at first and then we can talk about them individually. Here is the list:
- Seeking Answers: The “Why Me!” Stage
- Denial: When You Think You are Actually Dreaming
- Trying to Patch Up: The “I’ll do whatever You Want” Stage
- Anger: When You Give Up After Trying
- Trying to Accept: When You Start to Believe that It isn’t a Dream
- Moving On: You Finally Move on & Try to Keep Yourself, Happy
I am not discussing these topics commonly, because all of these issues will be covered later in this article in both guys and girls part. Stay with us.
Stages of a Breakup for Guys
Many guys break after a relationship is broken. Girls may break too much, but girls can cope with them faster than boys, male psychology after a breakup becomes so much devastating and those boys who are was loyal to the relationship, in most of the cases a huge time of their life gets wasted singing the breakup song. Thus stages of a breakup for guys can be too much devastating. The time after a breakup for men is very important. In this article, I am going to describe 6 of the stages of grief breakup for men with examples of the stages that they go through and what you should not do at that time according to the trend. Trends might look attracting, but not good for you all the time. For example, growing beard or show yourself as a depressed guy might be the thing guys try to do, but that does not mean that is good for you.
If you are a girl, this article is not a perfect fit for you, you should be on this article where we explained breakup stages for everyone in general.
Does Depression Exist in any of the Stage of a Breakup for Guys?
No! But Yes!!
Now you might be thinking, “Why this writer is saying its a show-off? I am really depressed, and I am not showing off!” Trust me, you actually are, you might think you are depressed and hurt, I agree that you are struggling, but the psychology says, Humans are slaves to their habits, the reason you are being hurt is, you actually were used to with someone, and now that she is not in your life, an empty space has been created on your subconscious, you have nothing to do when you used to be with her, those moments are reminding you of her, that’s not depression, that’s just your habit which is manipulating your subconscious and telling you are subconscious that, “Hey! Your GF/Spouse has left you, you should be depressed af!”, that is the thing which is making you depressed, you are not understanding it because people can not know what their subconscious want or do. You can see here how to fight depression after divorce or a breakup if you think you are really depressed.
Breakup Stages for Guys
Before starting, here is a short list of the 6 stages of a breakup for guys, so you can easily navigate through the whole article according to your curiosity.
- The “My Heart Can’t Accept” Stage
- Support Stage
- The Depression Stage
- Self Assesment Stage
- Spending Time with FnF Stage
- Moved on Stage
The “My Heart Can’t Accept” Stage of a Grief Breakup
Among all the stages of a breakup for guys, this stage is one of the most emotional phases. Male psychology fluctuates like hell in this phase. At the same time, this is one of the most important stages of a breakup for guys – because any decision taken at this time can turn your life to a different direction which can both be good or bad. The emotions that emerge from someone at this stage of a breakup are absolutely raw emotions. For most of the time, the emotions are exacerbated by the form of tears or intense mental pain. However, some of the exceptions have the tendency to take break up naturally. But whatever it is, it’s all out of the ordinary, all of it emotionally. For those who do not accept the breakup of their pain … “Why am I so Unfortunate!” – The question comes back again and again. In this immediate phase, most people do one of three things:
- Self-harm (suicide, drugs, etc.)
- Trying to harm the girl who had a relationship with him (facebook/email hack, mobile number manipulation with nasty images)
- Harming the people why they had breakup (maybe another boy).
And there are other types of people who do not have any of these 3 symptoms, they just let it go. They are again 3 types:
- The group who kind of enjoy being in a depression.
- People who act with themselves that they are happy.
- Twelve hours of new relations and breakup, they do not have any feeling of breakup and new relationship feeling – that group (they are kind of playboys, their discussions in this post have not been discussed)
- “I just want to visit/wish to call her/I want to visit him right now” – even if you know, the decision will not change.
- Detecting your own faults/errors by itself – finding out your faults behind the breakup – although perhaps there is no fault.
- Keeping her memorabilia hidden in your hand, this makes your situation even worse. Some people, however, burn them.
- “This wasn’t my fault …then why ….?
- “All the girls are same…” (this is a special type of boys)
- “I will never be able to be in a relationship in my life …” This is a very emotional stage which cannot be expressed in words right. So, moving on…
Off Topic: As you are already on this page, you are having some relationship issues. If so, you can check this article on relationship problems and solutions and if you want to save your relationship by a flashback that how romantic your relationship is, here is your chance, you can see the stages of a relationship and feel how lucky you are.
1st of the Supporting Stages of a Breakup for Guys
In this stage of the breakup or divorce, your “so-called” friends and acquaintances who knew about your relationship, they will jump to you to support you. Believe it or not, in their mind, your most friends (especially those who have a relationship), they are actually happy about your breakup. Happy for that, “They are not so unfortunate that they are like you…”. This is the real psychology of humans. In fact, if you were at their place, you would have felt the same inside. “Thank God I am not having the same situation”, this thought is good enough to provide a happy meal. It’s not bad. This is just natural human psychology. There are some good aspects to it. For example, if your friends heard about your breakup, the next time they talk to their girlfriend/boyfriend, this topic will rise at least once. Then they will admit each other, they will never break apart. Regardless of the level of relation, they will re-imagine them again, how much lucky they are to have each other. Those who had relationship problems will suddenly realize that they actually do not have any problems at all comparative to your issue, but it is a temporary thing. There is no permanent effect. However, at this stage, you will be satiated with the comfort and advice of friends and acquaintances, for example:
- “Which has been done for the better…”
- “Life does not stop for anyone …”
- “It’s time to build a carrier…” (relatives say that)
- “Surely you are waiting for something better than your her…”
- “Just forget her!”
- “Spend time with friends…”
- “Let’s go outside on a trip…”
Here are some of the information that your friends have not mentioned before about your relation – at this stage –
- “There was a problem after this relationship with you …”
- “You’ve got a thousand times better than that girl …” (5 months ago, “after seeing your jealousy”)
- “He had a lot of problems …”
- “Why did you know that relation would not last …”
The Depression Stage of a Breakup
3rd phase, which means itself: this phase of the breakup is itself the only one. A belief in the life of his life, everything else can be renewed in this stage. At this stage, a boy would do a lot of things, which he would never do under the normal circumstances. He would do many such things that it seemed to be masked to him a few days ago. Many people with whom there has been no communication for long / or have avoided a lot, they can grow in contact with them. The whole thing comes from a thought of overall change in life.
In this stage, you will feel depressed, and it’s ok to be sad. At this stage of a breakup, you will eventually feel that the situation is not going to change. You may want to be alone and you shut your friends and family in this stage of a breakup. Sometime you may feel angry and sorry for your breakup. Your work life will be harmful, you are unable to function at home/school and your daily normal life. Normally guys after the breakup drink a lot and you may have been too. You may have anxiety, weight loss, hair fall, panic disorder, insomnia. This stage of breakup men worry about their future without girlfriend/wife and you may be worried about yourself. You will feel helpless, worthless and hopeless.
The Self Assessment Stage of a Breakup for Men
The fifth stage, again and again: remember that the memory of the breakup is left and not the other – just feel very uncomfortable. If you have ever decided to meet him in front of you (whether it is with a new boyfriend), you will convince him for his new life – that you have achieved so much mental strength. You are interested in seeing a girl in you. You’ve even told friends – Ready to find out.
- Just be sure to relate immediately to new girls through Facebook online / Facebook or Friend. (Even if you know 99% of the ones that will not be useful)
- Dirty jokes / greedy favorites – although you are not famous for all this.
- Grow the temporary liquechma in itself.
- Suddenly, you feel that the world was very easy when it was in relation, everything was very sure – one hand touched the hand while hand, leaving a shoulder to the shoulder. But now the world seems very difficult to break the relation. Again, the relation will be renewed again, whether it will be renewed again – you have begun to question the idea of alaridi. Just as you thought before the first relation.
This stage of breakup is itself alone. A belief of a surety to start a life and career everything else can be renewed at this stage of breakup for guys. At this stage, a man/boy would do a lot of things, which he would never do in general. He would do many such things that it seemed to be awkward to him a few days ago. Many people with whom there has been no communication for a long time / or have avoided a lot, may contact with them This thought comes on your mind because of your breakup.
Spending Time with FnF Stage (2nd of the Supporting Stages of a Breakup for Guys)
The fourth stage, spending time with friends: If you get a chance at this stage of a breakup, then there is a tendency to spend time with friends. Increases intimacy with the various activities of the house and family members. How the whole world is filtered with a ‘mirror glasses’ and caught sight of it. Wish to benefit people There is also a tendency to talk softly with people.
- Very intense jealousy and discomfort in seeing the intimacy of relation between their boyfriends/girlfriends outside of friends.
- In words, to the friends – “Ish and do it …”, “I see it and see it …” or “I used to do it more often …” – type commentaries.
- If you get the chance to tell people about their breakup, not in the hope of getting sympathy – in this case, there are issues like taking credit.
- “I have seen many things in life …” type of mentality.
- Show status of your life on Facebook. If you see somebody’s status, it seems that he is going to commit suicide shortly after.
- Keep the beard.
At the 5th position, I hope for the hope of that: Just after the breakup of your breakup, a lot of wounds have dried a lot. But the familiar place, the people who are familiar, the book takes an empty blank. Remember to remember the previous time before going anywhere in a familiar place. If you meet with fear, then what will happen? What to do if you are able to remember it again. Although fear is coming to think of the meeting, you want to see Kind of Off again.
At this stage of breakup for guys, there is a tendency to spend time with friends when you get a chance. Increasing intimacy with the various activities of the house and family members. How the whole world is filtered with a ‘glass of illusion”’ and caught sight of it. Wish to benefit people There is also a tendency to talk too softly with people. Symptoms:
- Very intense jealousy and discomfort in seeing the intimacy of relation between their boyfriends/girlfriends outside of friends.
- In words, to the friends – “huh..he did that …”, “if he sees it …” or “I used to do it more often …” – type commentaries…
- If you get the opportunity to tell people about the breakup, it is not the hope of sympathy – there are issues like taking credit.
- Few words on Facebook showcasing their biography. If you see the status of some people, it will seem like they are going to commit suicide 6. Keep the beard.
Off Topic: As you are on this page, that makes me guess that you are facing any kind of relationship problem, so, you might also be interested to know about how to get rid of depression using exercise
Move On Stage
Among all the stages of a breakup for men, at this stage of a breakup, you may remember that the memory of the breakup is left and there is nothing – just an occasional remembrance. If you have ever met your ex-girlfriend/wife along with her new partner, you will congratulate her on her new life. At this point, you have achieved so much mental strength. At this stage of breakup guys interested in seeing a girl or date a girl. You’ve even told friends to find someone special for yourself.
- Introduce new girls through online / facebook or friend and immediately arrange for relocation. (Even though you know 99% of chance that will not help you)
- Dirty jokes / greedy favorites – though you are not famous for all this.
- Grow a temporary Depravity in yourself.
- Suddenly, you feel that the world was very easy when it was in relation, everything was pretty sure – one hand touched the hand while hand, keeping a shoulder on your shoulder. Again, the relation will be renewed again, whether it will start again or not – you have started questioning the concept. Just like it was before the first relation.
So as you can see, male psychology after a breakup becomes devastatingly destructive. If you need to survive these stages, you need to know about these stages.
Stages of a Breakup for Girls
Stages of a breakup for a girl is different from guys. Well, the basic depression stages of breakups are the same, but there are some stages exclusive for girls which a guy do not face. In this part of the article, we will discuss the stages that only a girl face after a breakup.
Differences of Stages of a breakup for Guys and Girls
Before digging into the topic, as a reader, you should know a secret. You believe it or not, psychology says that a woman can get rid of breakup or divorce depression much faster than a guy. There are some differences. For example, guys do not get that much depressed after a breakup. In the beginning, they think that are actually relieved from the relationship. But as time runs, they start to feel that what he has done! ANd with time, they get more and more depressed, one of the reasons for this is loneliness and lack of attention.
On the other hand, girls break too much at the beginning stages of a breakup. They face a devastating phase at the beginning of the event. But as time goes, they groom themselves up very easily and very fast. One of the reasons they can do this is because they get a lot of traction at this time, they have their friends and family supporting them, in fact, they get are surrounded by many new guys who want to be in a relationship with them. This helps them a lot to get rid of the grief stages of the breakup.
Breakup Stages for Girls
Anyways, now let us see the main stages of a breakup for a girl that she faces throughout the whole event, let us make a shortlist first and then explaining to them one by one will help you a lot.
- Denial Stage
- Questioning Thyself
- Stalk Her Ex-Boyfriend
- Realize the Reality
- Moving On
This is one of the most devastating and girlish stages of a breakup when a girl is dumped. Guys feel shy to themselves about crying, so, crying is not really a guys event. But when it is about girls, they cry too easily and can not control the temptation of crying. This gives them an advantage. Crying always makes people feel better. After crying a lot, girls feel an inner peace which helps them a lot to take the initial devastating situation.
Crying comes in two different phases though, the first stage ends with a better feeling. But after that, she once again realizes the emptiness. When a girl becomes loyal to a guy, they usually give all of herself to the guy at once. But after the breakup ladies, all on a sudden feel the emptiness because the guy left with emptying all over her heart. This empty feeling is really a bad feeling and thus the second phase of crying starts. In this stage of the breakup, it is really hard for her to hold her tears back. This stage comes with a big emptiness all around her.
Wherever she goes, she remembers the guy, songs on the radio, places she visited, she starts to relate everything with him that last time she faced the event, he was with her, and now he has gone from her life for good. Never ending memories of him consistently haunts her down.
This is a common breakup stage for both guys and girls. Guys also go through this stage. But to girls, this is one of the worst stages of a breakup. Denial means you already know something but your mind and psychology still have expectations left and you still can not believe that this actually happened. In this breakup stage, girls feel it is all a nightmare, just a bad dream and when she wakes up, everything will be gone and she will see she is lying on the bed trying to snooze the alarm clock.
But it is a matter of regret that this is a nightmare that ends up becoming a reality and it will make you understand slowly that this will never end. You do not want to believe that this is a reality but the reality is cruel to make you realize that you have to believe it. In the ending of this cruel breakup stage, girls finally realize that she has to let it go.
This is a self-estimation and self-assessment stage. But its a matter of great regret that everything you assess in this stage of a breakup about yourself is all wrong. As a girl, you think you must be a b**ch, and you are a so bad person that nobody likes you and everybody leaves you from your life. But trust me, these feelings you are having is not right, there is no perfect version of you better than you. You are the perfect yourself and you have to realize that nothing could have made you better than what you are now.
Nobody is perfect everybody has issues of their own, but that issues make you the perfect you, you have to accept it. And those who can not accept your bad sides, and wants only your good sides, does not actually deserve you.
Another specialty of this stage is that you do not actually understand which of your fault led you to this situation? Is this the one that you fall asleep and forgot to send a good night test? These questions bloating all around your mind. But trust me, there is nothing like this. The one who will want to leave you, will try and find your faults. No specific fault of you led you to this situation. so, stop blaming yourself and try to move on.
This stage sounds negative, but trust me, this is the most positive stage for you. As a lady, you are now angry, on him, and also on yourself. How?
Well, you already know why you are angry with him, because of losing you in the middle of nowhere, betraying you. You now believe that he was a traitor and you are now feeling lucky that he left you, you feel relieved by thinking that a bad person like him is not in your life now anymore.\
And the reason you are angry at yourself is because of several reasons, such as:
- Why am I so dumb to trust him?!
- Why did I waste time by being depressed who do not even deserve me?
You are angry at yourself that you once trusted him that he would always be with you for the rest of your life, you trusted him with your heart. But he broke your heart.
Also, you are now getting angry on yourself that you wasted all these time thinking that he would come back, the denial stage, the stage where you did blame yourself for all the situations. Now you understand that the fault was not yours. And you think you did not deserve this, you are so angry on yourself because you now feel how foolish you were to think that it was your fault.
Stalking Your Ex Boyfriend Stage
This is one of the pointless stages of a breakup for girls. You are now recovered from the devastating grief breakup stages. Now that you are concentrated on your life, but when you are free scrolling through your social media account news feel suddenly you remember of him and search his account to see how he is. You regularly do this and stalk him, but you do not want him to know that you are following him.
Now you already know that there is no point of stalking him. Also, you do not get hurt while stalking him, now you take it as a pass time recreation. So you do not even think it wastes your time. You now kind of have fun to know about what he is doing. Even all your anger has gone washed away by the time. This is why time is considered as the greatest healer.
Realize the Reality
After the denial stage, some time has passed, and now you know that it was not a nightmare but a reality. But you still can not accept your situation. You were forced to face the situation. After all, those being hurt, crying, unable to realize the situation, now you have started to accept your fate. This is one of the stages of a breakup for a girl when she thinks the fault was her’s which is not right.
Now you realize that you did not deserve this, you deserved better. Now you know you could have done something better but to be depressed and heartbroken. You realize you could have seen the brighter side of your life if you have not wasted all this time by being depressed, being angry, stalking your ex-boyfriend, and if you would have realized the situation before, all this time did not has to be wasted.
You have already moved on in this stage. In the beginning, you even had an expectation that he would come back to you and you will accept him. But now you already have given up the expectation that he would come back. Now you think that even if he comes back in future, you will reject him gently and make him understand that you two were not meant to be together, you will counsel him to move on.
And you think in your mind that even if he comes back you would not hurt him, rather ask you to be your friend and move on separately with each other’s life. You have on anger left on you for him anymore. This is one of the calm stages of a breakup for a girl, in this breakup stage you think logically instead of thinking emotionally. And trust me, what you are thinking is perfectly okay now. This is how life works.
Life does not wait for anybody to move on, it goes on and on an on. And if you think you will be stuck with the depressions and emotion of your ex-boyfriend then you are daydreaming. You are still not that mature enough if you are at the beginning stage, but eventually, when you go through the stages of a breakup, you will figure out that breakup stages has made you stronger and make you able to fight with life.
Off Topic: As you are on this page, that makes me guess that you are facing any kind of relationship issues, so, you might also be interested to know about relationship problems after moving in together after marriage. And also you might be interested to know about the relationship problems after a miscarriage.