Grief Stages of a Breakup for Guys and Girls

0
384

Some stages of a breakup are hard to avoid. If one was loyal in a relationship, these stages of a breakup are bound to take place and cause grief. Whether you’re male or female, such emotional stress is sure to come. Even so, how men and women deal with a breakup is different in their own ways, they’ve their own methods to get over the trauma. However, there are some common stages of breakup every individual has to go through, since we’re all human being with similar instincts. These stages would be discussed in our article today, so that you can get over the depression easily and smoothly.

Stages of a breakup for guys and breakup stages for girls are different. But there are some common stages also. If you want to know more in-depth about gender-specific behavior and breakup stages that men and women have to go through after a breakup, keep reading this article. We will divide this post into two part separately for men and women. But at first, let’s figure out the common stages of a breakup for both guys and girls.

So, as we were saying, there are some common behaviors, let me shortlist them at first and then we can talk about them individually. Here is the list:

  • The Desperation for Answers Stage
  • The Denial Stage
  • The Attempt of Patching up Stage
  • The Aggression Stage
  • The Depression Stage
  • The Initial Acceptance Stage
  • The Moving on Stage

I am not discussing these topics commonly, because all of these issues will be covered later in this article in both guys and girls part. Stay with us.

Stages of a Breakup for Guys

stages of a breakup for guys
stages of a breakup for guys

Even though many claim that the destruction of a relationship does not affect men in general, it is not true. In fact, any loyal men would be more grief struck and would have a tougher time moving on from a bad breakup, as men cannot express their emotions and sorrow as openly as women can. Society expects men to “harden up” and instantly move on from a relationship. However, they are also sensitive, and go through some trauma and heartache as well. What’s even more terrible is that, men tend to waste a lot of their valuable time pondering over the heart break, which ultimately affects their career and their relationship with friends and other family members.

If you are a girl, this article is not a perfect fit for you, you should be on this article where we explained breakup stages for everyone in general.

Does Depression Exist in any of the Stage of a Breakup for Guys?

This is yet another painful stage, which comes immediately after one has realized the truth and has no hopes of getting back together anymore. The emotional wildfire of this stage can be self destructive. Try to keep yourself busy, focus on your daily life and follow a routine to help alleviate the pain that’d occur. Seek help from a counselor if needed. Remember, we are slaves to our own emotions, and if one keeps telling themselves that they’re depressed, and does not take actions to change it, there’s no way out of it. For some of us, such depression after a breakup is a mere connotation of the mind, nothing else. You need to speak up about your miseries and help others in understanding it because people can not know what their subconscious want or do. You can see here how to fight depression after divorce or a breakup if you think you are really depressed.

Breakup Stages & Guys Behavior after Breakup

Before starting, here is a short list of the 6 stages of a breakup for guys, so you can easily navigate through the whole article according to your curiosity.

  1. The Denial Stage
  2. Support Stage
  3. The Depression Stage
  4. Self Assessment Stage
  5. Spending Time with FnF Stage
  6. Moved on Stage

The Denial Stage of a Grief Breakup

most emotional stage of a breakup
most emotional stage of a breakup

For most men, this stage is the most emotional and traumatizing. According to psychology, a lot of fluctuations occur during this stage, which can lead to wrong decisions that might scar the person for life. The hardest part is accepting the situation that the person you’ve loved for such a long time is no longer in love with you. This realization is hard to take in and can be paired with feelings of not being good enough and insecurities. However, one needs to realize that even if you’re the most beautiful rose in the garden, some people would prefer dandelions over it. It is important to realize after a breakup that, not all relationships are meant to be together. This is a very common stage after a breakup, yet the most dangerous. One cannot move on or be happy till they come in terms with their own situation; you need to accept that she is gone, and it won’t change magically.

Various types of behavior are seen after a breakup, and these are:

Self Harm

This is the most harmful and dangerous decision one can take. Those who are not emotionally stable, tend to adapt drastic measures such as suicide attempts, mutilation or drug abuse. Whenever one gets such tendencies, they should immediately seek professional help instead of letting the demons devour them. Breakup is just a part of life; we cannot let the emotional trauma from a breakup end our lives for good.

Trying to harm your ex

Your ex is an individual of her own rights and can make own decisions, even if it’s not for your best interest. Trying to take revenge or cause harm to your ex-girlfriend after a breakup is a very heinous act. Be the bigger person, even if things went down pretty bad. Hurting your ex-girlfriend won’t bring her back if anything it’d make you look like a bad person in front of others.

Trying to cause harm to the new boyfriend

Again, seeking revenge is not a good solution and won’t do any good to either side. Instead, use this time to better yourself. Take some time off, work on self development. Use this opportunity for learning what you can do to better yourself. Upgrade your personality, be someone, girls will follow. Nobody wants to associate themselves with people who constantly nag about their breakup or their ex.

Giving away to Depression

It is normal to be depressed and heartbroken at this stage of a breakup. However, the only person who can change this situation is you. Instead of letting the misery get the best of you, try to work through it. Talk to a counselor if needed, join activities that make you appreciate life more. We are just slaves to our nature and if we let depression be a part of it, there’s no escaping.

Pretending to be fine

Completely ignoring the grief after a breakup is not commendable either. Suppressing your emotions and feelings might lead to a toxic outburst, might weigh you down with extra burden. It is okay to break down sometimes; even if you’re a guy it is okay to cry and talk about your feelings. Accepting the situation helps to lighten our minds. Ponder over your heartbreak for a while if you have to, but be sure to pick yourself up and keep your head high.

Speed Dating

While it mind sounds like a good distraction to go out on multiple random dates right after a breakup, it will only cause more harm to you and the people you’re dating.  Because at this stage of the breakup, you’re vulnerable and damaged; others should not have to carry that baggage for you. According to psychology, whoever approaches your life right after a breakup would mold your next actions and mental health, so if the person is not right for you, it can cause more harm than good. Also, such impulsive dating due to grief can lead to guilt and regrets later in life, which is not wanted. Instead, use this time to heal yourself, and only start dating again once you’ve reached stability and found someone worth the effort.

Common mistakes to avoid during this stage of a breakup for moving on:

  • Trying to keep in touch with your ex
  • Blaming it on yourself
  • Keeping memorabilia of them
  • Hating on other girls for her actions

Off Topic: As you are reading this article, it tells me you are having a bad time after a breakup. But this time you should improve yourself for the future, know more about things like how lying in a relationship can harm it or how ego problems in a relationship can kill it.

1st of the Supporting Stages of a Breakup for Guys

supporting friends
supporting friends

In this stage of the breakup or divorce, guys behavior after breakup psychology says your “so-called” friends and acquaintances who knew about your relationship, they will jump to you to support you. Believe it or not, in their mind, your most friends (especially those who have a relationship), they are actually happy about your breakup. Happy for that, “They are not so unfortunate that they are like you…”. This is the real psychology of humans. In fact, if you were at their place, you would have felt the same inside. “Thank God I am not having the same situation”, this thought is good enough to provide a happy meal. It’s not bad. This is just natural human psychology. There are some good aspects to it. For example, if your friends heard about your breakup, the next time they talk to their girlfriend/boyfriend, this topic will rise at least once. Then they will admit each other, they will never break apart. Regardless of the level of relation, they will re-imagine them again, how much lucky they are to have each other. Those who had relationship problems will suddenly realize that they actually do not have any problems at all comparative to your issue, but it is a temporary thing. There is no permanent effect. However, at this stage, you will be satiated with the comfort and advice of friends and acquaintances, for example:

  • “Which has been done for the better…”
  • “Life does not stop for anyone …”
  • “It’s time to build a carrier…” (relatives say that)
  • “Surely you are waiting for something better than your her…”
  • “Just forget her!”
  • “Spend time with friends…”
  • “Let’s go outside on a trip…”

Here are some of the information that your friends have not mentioned before about your relation – at this stage –

  • “There was a problem after this relationship with you …”
  • “You’ve got a thousand times better than that girl …” (5 months ago, “after seeing your jealousy”)
  • “He had a lot of problems …”
  • “Why did you know that relation would not last …”

The Depression Stage of a Breakup

At this stage, behavior after the breakup is weird, a boy would do a lot of things, which he would never do under the normal circumstances. He would do many such things that it seemed to be masked to him a few days ago. Many people with whom there has been no communication for long / or have avoided a lot, they can grow in contact with them. The whole thing comes from a thought of overall change in life.

In this stage, you will feel depressed, and it’s okay to be sad. At this stage of a breakup, you will eventually feel that the situation is not going to change.  You may want to be alone and you shut your friends and family in this stage of a breakup. Sometime you may feel angry and sorry for your breakup. Your work life will be harmful, you are unable to function at home/school and your daily normal life. Normally guys after the breakup drink a lot and you may have been too. You may have anxiety, weight loss, hair fall, panic disorder, insomnia. This stage of breakup men worry about their future without girlfriend/wife and you may be worried about yourself. You will feel helpless, worthless and hopeless.

The Self Assessment Stage of a Breakup for Men

The fourth stage, the memory of the breakup is no more – it just feels very uncomfortable. If you have ever decided to meet him in front of you (whether it is with a new boyfriend), you will convince him for his new life – that you have achieved so much mental strength. You are interested in seeing a girl in you. You’ve even told friends – Ready to find out.

This stage, guys behavior after breakup changes consistently. A belief of a surety to start a life and career everything else can be renewed at this stage of a breakup for guys. At this stage, a man/boy would do a lot of things, which he would never do in general. He would do many such things that it seemed to be awkward to him a few days ago. Many people with whom there has been no communication for a long time / or have avoided a lot, may contact with them This thought comes on your mind because of your breakup.

Spending Time with FnF Stage (2nd of the Supporting Stages of a Breakup for Guys)

friends and family support
friends and family support

The fifth stage, spending time with friends: If you get a chance at this stage of a breakup, then there is a tendency to spend time with friends. Guys behavior after breakup contains increment of intimacy with the various activities of the house and family members are observed. How the whole world is filtered with a ‘mirror glasses’ and caught sight of it. Wish to benefit people There is also a tendency to talk softly with people.

Symptoms:

  • Very intense jealousy and discomfort in seeing the intimacy of relation between their boyfriends/girlfriends outside of friends.
  • In words, to the friends – “Ish and do it …”, “I see it and see it …” or “I used to do it more often …” – type commentaries.
  • If you get the chance to tell people about their breakup, not in the hope of getting sympathy – in this case, there are issues like taking credit.
  • “I have seen many things in life …” type of mentality.
  • Show status of your life on Facebook. If you see somebody’s status, it seems that he is going to commit suicide shortly after.
  • Keep the beard.

At the 5th position, Just after the breakup of your breakup, a lot of wounds have dried a lot. But the familiar place, the people who are familiar, the book takes an empty blank. Remember to remember the previous time before going anywhere in a familiar place. If you meet with fear, then what will happen? What to do if you are able to remember it again. Although fear is coming to think of the meeting, you want to see Kind of Off again.

At this stage of guys behavior after breakup, there is a tendency to spend time with friends when you get a chance. Increasing intimacy with the various activities of the house and family members. How the whole world is filtered with a ‘glass of illusion”’ and caught sight of it. Wish to benefit people There is also a tendency to talk too softly with people. Symptoms:

  • Very intense jealousy and discomfort in seeing the intimacy of relation between their boyfriends/girlfriends outside of friends.
  • In words, to the friends – “huh..he did that …”, “if he sees it …” or “I used to do it more often …” – type commentaries…
  • If you get the opportunity to tell people about the breakup, it is not the hope of sympathy – there are issues like taking credit.
  • Few words on Facebook showcasing their biography. If you see the status of some people, it will seem like they are going to commit suicide 6. Keep the beard.

Move On Stage

move on after a breakup stage
move on after a breakup stage

Among all the stages of a breakup for men, at this stage of a breakup, you may remember that the memory of the breakup is left and there is nothing – just an occasional remembrance. If you have ever met your ex-girlfriend/wife along with her new partner, you will congratulate her on her new life. At this point, you have achieved so much mental strength. At this stage of breakup guys interested in seeing a girl or date a girl. You’ve even told friends to find someone special for yourself.

Symptoms:

  • Introduce new girls through online / facebook or friend and immediately arrange for relocation. (Even though you know 99% of chance that will not help you)
  • Dirty jokes / greedy favorites – though you are not famous for all this.
  • Grow a temporary Depravity in yourself.
  • Suddenly, you feel that the world was very easy when it was in relation, everything was pretty sure – one hand touched the hand while hand, keeping a shoulder on your shoulder. Again, the relation will be renewed again, whether it will start again or not – you have started questioning the concept. Just like it was before the first relation.

So as you can see, male psychology after a breakup becomes devastatingly destructive. If you need to survive these stages, you need to know about these stages.

Stages of a Breakup for Girls

Stages of a breakup for a girl is different from guys. Well, the basic depression stages of breakups are the same, but there are some stages exclusive for girls which a guy do not face. In this part of the article, we will discuss the stages that only a girl face after a breakup.

Differences of Stages of a breakup for Guys and Girls

Before digging into the topic, as a reader, you should know a secret. You believe it or not, psychology says that a woman can get rid of breakup or divorce depression much faster than a guy. There are some differences. For example, guys do not get that much depressed after a breakup. In the beginning, they think that are actually relieved from the relationship. But as time runs, they start to feel that what he has done! ANd with time, they get more and more depressed, one of the reasons for this is loneliness and lack of attention.

On the other hand, girls break too much at the beginning stages of a breakup. They face a devastating phase at the beginning of the event. But as time goes, they groom themselves up very easily and very fast. One of the reasons they can do this is because they get a lot of traction at this time, they have their friends and family supporting them, in fact, they get are surrounded by many new guys who want to be in a relationship with them. This helps them a lot to get rid of the grief stages of the breakup.

Breakup Stages for Girls

Anyways, now let us see the main stages of a breakup for a girl that she faces throughout the whole event, let us make a shortlist first and then explaining to them one by one will help you a lot.

  • Crying
  • Denial Stage
  • Questioning Thyself
  • Anger
  • Stalk Her Ex-Boyfriend
  • Realize the Reality
  • Moving On

Crying

Girl Crying and Fighting Depression after Breakup or Divorce
Girl Crying and Fighting Depression after Breakup or Divorce

First Phase

This is one of the most devastating and girlish stages of a breakup when a girl is dumped. Guys feel shy to themselves about crying, so, crying is not really a guys event. But when it is about girls, they cry too easily and can not control the temptation of crying. This gives them an advantage. Crying always makes people feel better. After crying a lot, girls feel an inner peace which helps them a lot to take the initial devastating situation.

Second Phase

Crying comes in two different phases though, the first stage ends with a better feeling. But after that, she once again realizes the emptiness. When a girl becomes loyal to a guy, they usually give all of herself to the guy at once. But after the breakup ladies, all on a sudden feel the emptiness because the guy left with emptying all over her heart. This empty feeling is really a bad feeling and thus the second phase of crying starts. In this stage of the breakup, it is really hard for her to hold her tears back. This stage comes with a big emptiness all around her.

Wherever she goes, she remembers the guy, songs on the radio, places she visited, she starts to relate everything with him that last time she faced the event, he was with her, and now he has gone from her life for good. Never ending memories of him consistently haunts her down.

Denial Stage

This is a common breakup stage for both guys and girls. Guys also go through this stage. But to girls, this is one of the worst stages of a breakup. Denial means you already know something but your mind and psychology still have expectations left and you still can not believe that this actually happened. In this breakup stage, girls feel it is all a nightmare, just a bad dream and when she wakes up, everything will be gone and she will see she is lying on the bed trying to snooze the alarm clock.

But it is a matter of regret that this is a nightmare that ends up becoming a reality and it will make you understand slowly that this will never end. You do not want to believe that this is a reality but the reality is cruel to make you realize that you have to believe it. In the ending of this cruel breakup stage, girls finally realize that she has to let it go.

Questioning Thyself

This is a self-estimation and self-assessment stage. But its a matter of great regret that everything you assess in this stage of a breakup about yourself is all wrong. As a girl, you think you must be a b**ch, and you are a so bad person that nobody likes you and everybody leaves you from your life. But trust me, these feelings you are having is not right, there is no perfect version of you better than you. You are the perfect yourself and you have to realize that nothing could have made you better than what you are now.

Nobody is perfect everybody has issues of their own, but that issues make you the perfect you, you have to accept it. And those who can not accept your bad sides, and wants only your good sides, does not actually deserve you.

Another specialty of this stage is that you do not actually understand which of your fault led you to this situation? Is this the one that you fall asleep and forgot to send a good night test? These questions bloating all around your mind. But trust me, there is nothing like this. The one who will want to leave you, will try and find your faults. No specific fault of you led you to this situation. so, stop blaming yourself and try to move on.

Anger

This stage sounds negative, but trust me, this is the most positive stage for you. As a lady, you are now angry, on him, and also on yourself. How?

Well, you already know why you are angry with him, because of losing you in the middle of nowhere, betraying you. You now believe that he was a traitor and you are now feeling lucky that he left you, you feel relieved by thinking that a bad person like him is not in your life now anymore.\

And the reason you are angry at yourself is because of several reasons, such as:

  • Why am I so dumb to trust him?!
  • Why did I waste time by being depressed who do not even deserve me?

You are angry at yourself that you once trusted him that he would always be with you for the rest of your life, you trusted him with your heart. But he broke your heart.

Also, you are now getting angry on yourself that you wasted all these time thinking that he would come back, the denial stage, the stage where you did blame yourself for all the situations. Now you understand that the fault was not yours. And you think you did not deserve this, you are so angry on yourself because you now feel how foolish you were to think that it was your fault.

Stalking Your Ex Boyfriend Stage

This is one of the pointless stages of a breakup for girls. You are now recovered from the devastating grief breakup stages. Now that you are concentrated on your life, but when you are free scrolling through your social media account news feel suddenly you remember of him and search his account to see how he is. You regularly do this and stalk him, but you do not want him to know that you are following him.

Now you already know that there is no point of stalking him. Also, you do not get hurt while stalking him, now you take it as a pass time recreation. So you do not even think it wastes your time. You now kind of have fun to know about what he is doing. Even all your anger has gone washed away by the time. This is why time is considered as the greatest healer.

Realize the Reality

After the denial stage, some time has passed, and now you know that it was not a nightmare but a reality. But you still can not accept your situation. You were forced to face the situation. After all, those being hurt, crying, unable to realize the situation, now you have started to accept your fate. This is one of the stages of a breakup for a girl when she thinks the fault was her’s which is not right.

Now you realize that you did not deserve this, you deserved better. Now you know you could have done something better but to be depressed and heartbroken. You realize you could have seen the brighter side of your life if you have not wasted all this time by being depressed, being angry, stalking your ex-boyfriend, and if you would have realized the situation before, all this time did not has to be wasted.

Moved On

You have already moved on in this stage. In the beginning, you even had an expectation that he would come back to you and you will accept him. But now you already have given up the expectation that he would come back. Now you think that even if he comes back in future, you will reject him gently and make him understand that you two were not meant to be together, you will counsel him to move on.

And you think in your mind that even if he comes back you would not hurt him, rather ask you to be your friend and move on separately with each other’s life. You have on anger left on you for him anymore. This is one of the calm stages of a breakup for a girl, in this breakup stage you think logically instead of thinking emotionally. And trust me, what you are thinking is perfectly okay now. This is how life works.

Life does not wait for anybody to move on, it goes on and on an on. And if you think you will be stuck with the depressions and emotion of your ex-boyfriend then you are daydreaming. You are still not that mature enough if you are at the beginning stage, but eventually, when you go through the stages of a breakup, you will figure out that breakup stages has made you stronger and make you able to fight with life.

Related Post:

Off Topic: As you are on this page, that makes me guess that you are facing any kind of relationship issues, so, you might also be interested to know about relationship problems after moving in together after marriage. And also you might be interested to know about the relationship problems after a miscarriage.

0/5 (0 Reviews)

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here